Work hard, party harder

Lately, I've been getting up at, what feels like to me, the ass crack of dawn (pardon my French). Yesterday I had class (on a Saturday! my BFF made a joke about it, "What, do social workers consider all days equal or something?"). Today I have training for my part-time, terrible, depressing, seasonal retail job.

I've also been spending my weekend evenings out with friends, being social, and even imbibing a bit. This makes waking up at a decent hour like 7am today or 8am yesterday seem like a huge effort. And admittedly, I probably shouldn't be out so late (5am on Friday night, 2:30am last night). It's just difficult to find the right balance--I don't get a straight up 9 to 5 schedule (or even a straight up 2 to 11 schedule). Things are unpredictable and it's hard to plan for a good time out if I want to conserve sleep. 

And I know how important sleep is. In fact, I am struggling getting these very words out this morning, and I'm sure someone is going to read this and assume I am drunk, because I am questioning that possibility myself right now. It's just something I've felt okay about sacrificing the past couple of days in exchange for fun. I can't wait for the days when I don't have to choose. Those days do eventually show up, right? Right?

This is just one example of how crappy my notes from class were yesterday. Pretty sure I was falling asleep as I was trying to write them. I tried to pull the whole "face-away-from-professor-and-pretend-you're-looking-down-at-your-notes-when-your-eyes-are-closed-but-then-your-whole-body-jolts-when-you-actually-fall-asleep-making-it-obvious-that-you-were-sleeping" thing. If you actually know what hypoprolacti...mema? means, please advise.

New beginnings

So I've returned from my unplanned, longer than expected hiatus. Self-care right? I have this thing, and I think it's common amongst us social workers, where I make way more work for myself than there minimally has to be. In addition to graduate school and a 21 hour a week placement, I am working part time and also doing some heavy duty community organizing around fat issues. My middle name should be burn out.

Here's a small run down on things that I am working on that I hope to keep on a regular schedule of sharing with the blog-o-sphere:

•  I've started a new club at NYU Silver, called Body Positive Silver. I've been connected to so many awesome students at Silver who are interested in changing body culture and tackling weight bias. I feel blessed, and honored to know these amazing ladies. 
• We are working on SO MANY awesome campaigns. We hope to develop curriculum for both faculty and students on body politics, fat and social work.
• The New School, where one of my colleagues Sarah Lewin is doing her placement this year, is doing some seriously radical work through a group called Changing Body Culture. I attended a Body Positive two day workshop which BLEW MY MIND and changed my life and completely shifted how I look at myself and food. I am not even exaggerating. As someone who suffers from depression, I have seen a marked changed in how I react to situations after this workshop. The Body Positive is one of my most favorite organizations, and I want to be Connie and Elizabeth when I grow up. 
• For those of you in NYC, there will be a Body Positive four hour training Saturday, November 19 for free. Contact changingbodyculture (at) gmail.com for more details and to RSVP. 

Ugh, there's so much I'm missing, but so much is going on. I've been busy presenting workshops for NYU students and I also presented at the amazing RISE Conference this year which was a huge honor (pics of that coming soon). I wish I were independently wealthy so I could just travel around the country and do this stuff full time! I love it. 

More entries coming soon. I definitely want to comment on Occupy Wall Street and the Penn State happenings.

Also! It recently came to my attention that social-work.org named me their top blog about social work! I am so giddy and grateful. Check out their article to find other awesome blogs about social work.

Social-Work.org

On self-care, health and body privilege

riots not diets recently reblogged a post that read like this:

Health is not a virtue. It’s a privilege (and one the disabled don’t have). Fuck that. You don’t have to be healthy. You don’t owe it to anyone. Why do we so often value “taking care of yourself” over qualities like patience, honesty and kindness? Self-care is great, but it’s not a measure of your worth. Working out and eating “right” do NOT make you a better person. And what you or I do with our bodies is nobody’s business, anyway.

I think that what's being said here touches on some interesting points, but I still think it misses the mark to a degree. First, you're right--it's no one's business what you do with your body. But I don't actually think as a society we value "taking care of yourself." When people say "taking care of yourself," what they're really saying is "Please change yourself so that I am less uncomfortable with how you are." Those two are not synonymous. I'd argue that as a society we do not encourage people to take care of themselves enough.

Taking care of yourself, or self-care, does not necessarily mean dieting or exercising to lose weight or to get healthier or to change your different body (whether differently abled or fat or too skinny or whatever). Self-care might mean reminding yourself that these messages that society sends you are absolute B.S. Self-care might mean relaxing or taking a bath (not for hygienic reasons, but because it feels good). Self-care means valuing yourself in spite of the fact that society says you aren't worthy. If you don't perform self-care, you will (and I say this from my own personal reflections) experience burn-out and depression. Some people can and do experience ill-health because they do not take care of themselves. I have been there. Self-care has and will help me in the future.

If you don't take care of yourself, how can you have patience and kindness for very long? That's just what I don't get. It's a lesson that I continue to learn more and more every day, and it's not something that is not exclusive only to people with body privilege or monetary privilege or any other kind of privilege (except, perhaps, mental health privilege). Be kind to yourself first in the way you know how, in a way that is comfortable for you, in a way that is right for you and your health as is.

Oh, and just one thing to add... Being disabled? It doesn't mean someone is unhealthy. It's an easy assumption to make, but its just that: an assumption.